Single, I don’t know what you are facing today. Perhaps you are happy and contented in your singleness. Or maybe you are struggling. It may seem like everyone around you is married and having children, and God has forgotten you. You may feel that haven’t followed Him closely enough, you haven’t prayed for a spouse enough, you haven’t been outgoing enough, you aren’t attractive enough, or you just haven’t been… enough. Let me tell you why this is wrong thinking.
- You were never good enough
God knew that you would never measure up to His perfect standard. Before the dawn of time, He knew that you would fall short. This is why He sent Jesus to come and take your place, that you might receive full forgiveness of sins, and be seen as blameless (Col 1:14). Your marital status is not dependent on your personal righteousness; it is dependent on the Sovereignty of God. He loves you because He created you, and knows you intimately (Ps 139:1-5). He loves you because of who you are in Christ, and that will never fail, because Jesus never fails.
- Marriage is a Gift
Those who get married are not part of the favored elite. Marriage is a gift from God, which means that it is something to be received gratefully, not earned, or strived for. It is also a gift that comes with the responsibility to tend it well, to work hard to keep it maintained, and to use it for God’s glory. Marriage is not better than singleness, it is just different, and it comes with its own set of hardships (1 Cor 7:28, 34). Remember that there will be no marriage in heaven. It is an earthly symbol of a spiritual reality, that being the relationship between Christ and His Church, and a temporary reality that is only for this life. It must be held with open hands, for God is the One who knows the future.
- Singleness is a Gift
Though it may not always seem like it, singleness is just as much a gift as marriage is. Those who are single have opportunity to serve the Lord unhindered from the responsibility of a family (1 Cor 7:32). Give thanks for this gift, for as long as you have it. Take advantage of the freedom you have now, and remember that marriage will not make you happy. If you are not happy in singleness, you will not be happy in marriage. God is the only One who will bring you true joy and peace.
- Christ is the ultimate gift
We need to come away from the notion, that marriage is the goal, and you are incomplete if you are not married. Marriage is a good, God ordained blessing, but it is not a necessity. We are to seek after Christ, not marriage. It is idolatry if marriage is placed above Christ. Learn to forgive those who have hurt you because they have belittled your singleness, and made you feel inferior because of it. Remember this truth: Singleness does not separate you from the love of Christ. Because of the Cross, you can have intimate fellowship with God. You can know the sweetness of His presence. You have an eternal family in the Body of Christ. You have the promise of forever spent with God, and that is better than any earthly joys. One day God may bring a spouse into your life. Or He may not. It doesn’t really matter, for married or single, we are to”‘forget those things that are behind, and reaching forward to what is ahead, we press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil 3:12-14)
God did not make you to be married, but to make much of himself.
Marshal Segal, DesiringGod- 5 outdated pieces of Dating Advice
Single life may be only a stage of a life’s journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived—not always looked forward to as though the “real” living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow.”