Use your Singleness Wisely

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I’ll be honest with you. I never thought that I would be single this long. In my childhood, I dreamed of getting married at twenty-four, and having four children soon after. I even envisioned what my house would look like, and thought of names for my kids. Now I am heading into my late twenties, and I am still single. Do I desire marriage? Yes, absolutely, and that is something that can be a struggle at times. Yet I have also come to the place where I can see the immense blessing that it is to be single. So if you reading this and you are single, here are some encouragements.

  1. We have more time to spend with God. While there are many other distractions that can come up, as single women we can have a focused, consistent time with the Lord every day, without having to tend to children/family. Paul speaks to this too, saying that singleness enables the woman to focus on pleasing the Lord alone, rather than having to think about pleasing her husband (1 Cor 7:34). Appreciate this, for it may not last forever!
  2. Singleness frees us to serve in ways that we would not if we had a family. I can babysit for families on short notice, visit people, serve in ministry, take courses; things that would be more difficult if I had a husband and several children at home. Embrace this season where you have more time to serve, and don’t waste it.
  3. Singleness can help us to depend on God. If I had a husband, I would be tempted to depend on him for things that I found too much to handle, such as making decisions, finances, emotional struggles, etc. I don’t have that temptation, and so I can run straight to God, and ask for His help for these things, and He provides every time. There is nothing wrong with turning to a husband for help, but God wants to be our first turn, whether we are single or married.
  4. The lack of security in singleness reminds us that this is not our home. I don’t know what my life will look like year to year. I have lived in three different places in the last three years, and worked two different jobs. Sometimes the unknown of the future can feel scary, but it can also help us hold life with open hands, knowing that we are just passing through this world, and our security is not to be in temporary things, but in that which is eternal (Col 3:2).

My sister sent me a podcast on singleness the other day, and one of the things the speakers really emphasized was on finding a good Church. As Christian singles, we are never actually alone. We have a family in the Body of Christ. We need to intentionally surround ourselves with other believers, to be around married couples, older believers, and other singles.

Lastly, remember that God is sovereign. He is not removed and distant, but is intimately involved in our circumstances. If you are still single, this is the season that you are meant to be in. You have not been forgotten. He cares. Rejoice in the goodness of God, and use your singleness wisely.

Single life may be only a stage of a life’s journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived—not always looked forward to as though the “real” living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow.

―Elisabeth Elliot, ‘Let me be a Woman

God did not make you to be married, but to make much of himself.

Marshall Segal